Attention Westside Commuters - The Highland Boulevard Bridge Is Finally Open!

In case you weren't aware, the Highland Boulevard bridge has been closed for over a year for repairs. Yesterday, it reopened.  Perhaps it's a testament to how dull my life has been lately, but I can't contain my excitement. 

Listen, this bridge ain't no Golden Gate.  All it does is span some railroad tracks by the the Miller Brewery and the Harley Davidson headquarters.  I don't know what they have been doing to it over the past year, but the thing looks exactly the same as it did when they closed it down last year.  I don't think they even bothered to repaint the bike lane stripes.  But like an old member of the family who resurfaces after a year in rehab, it's good to have him back, warts and all. 

This is good news for me because, over the past year, I have been forced to take a less-than-glamorous detour down a seedy section of Vliet and along a particularly franchise-laden strip of 35th Street in order to reunite with Highland's bike lane, which takes me downtown to work in the morning.  I really missed that bridge.  Before its closing, it had been one of the few bright spots on my commute to work.  I'm glad to have it back.

Photo by Eddie-S

However, not everything is a rosy as it appears.  It looks like the Miller Brewing Company has taken advantage of the bridge's closing to do something devious.  This morning, as I rode past Miller's corporate office, I noticed a new sign on the side of the building which read "MillerCoors".  Now I'm sure those of you who actually read the newspaper would say, "Hey, buddy, that's old news."  Well, let me tell you, it was a shocker.  Not that I give a hoot about Miller.  I'm originally from California, so I drink whatever beer I feel like without feeling like I'm risking some sort of breach of regional decorum.  Nor was it a shock to see those two tried-and-true brand names side by side.  I mean, they both taste like crap anyway, and, by now, we're all used to massive corporations merging together to form even more massive entities in the ongoing race towards global mediocrity. 

I think what upset me most was seeing the capital "C" in front of the sub-word "Coors".  MillerCoors.  Since when is it okay to put capital letters in the middle of words?  Sure, the Germans capitalize all their nouns.  I can live with that.  But why do Miller and Coors have to share the same word?  Are we too lazy to read two separate words?  Are they trying to save space as a result of the economic downturn?  Fifty years ago, they would have called it "The Miller and Coors Brewing Company."  What if we all went around eliminating "useless" words in our speech in an effort to corporatize our speech?  Would my wife understand me if instead of telling her "the baby is crying" I just said, "BabyCry"? 

And the other thing that detracted from my celebration of the Highland Boulevard bridge was the fact that someone (presumably, the police) put one of those big signs which tells you how fast you are going smack dab in the middle of the bike lane.  While I was delighted to learn that I was going 14 miles per hour into a strong headwind this morning, I would have preferred to have the bike lane open to protect me from cars approaching from behind that were no doubt going much faster than 14 miles per hour. 

But that's enough complaining, isn't it?  This was supposed to be a celebratory post.  Those of us who commute from Milwaukee's westside have a good reason to rejoice upon the reopening of the Highland Boulevard bridge!